我想給你們一個簡短的視窗，讓你們瞭解我在這個新聞事業的小角落裡的生活。準備好了嗎？來吧。今天，邊緣新聞編輯室就吸血鬼是否會拉屎展開了激烈的辯論。我沒開玩笑。

吸血鬼沒道理

“當然不是！”一位記者哭了起來。”他們不呼吸，因此他們沒有新陳代謝來處理血液作為食物，“這是有意義的。”“嗯，血液不會透過消化道，”一位編輯說血液透過魔法使它們恢複活力，所以無論發生在接觸吸血鬼的嘴或面板上，都不需要排洩，“這也是有意義的。”“我們能不能承認，”另一位記者問，“如果他們不把他們攝取的血液排洩為食物，那就一定是違反了質量守恆定律？”然後我的腦袋爆炸了。

克裡斯·齊格勒找到了我們需要的完美答案。是在雅虎！答案如下：

1. Vampires, defined as a humanoid being that MUST c***ume blood or energy to survive do not exist. Cut and paste time, as it is too much work to type this out over and over and I "recycle" my own answers instead of retyping them so here goes. A brief discussion of the human digestive system and then the probable vampire population given an exponential growth rate should explain why vampires are not possible.

2. The human body is not designed to process large amounts of blood for nutrition. There is not enough protein, carbohydrates, and fats present in blood to maintain a complex creature such as Homo Sapiens or any theorized offshoot mutati***. When a human ingests food it is first broken up into a bolus by chewing, then churned up in the stomach with digestive juices to form a mass called chyme. It then passes through the pylorus into the duodenum, part of the **all intestine where it mixes with bile salts and secreti*** from the pancreas and liver which continue breaking it down on a molecular basis, mostly affecting fats at this point. The broken down nutrients pass through the wall of the intestines and into the bloodstream where they are carried to each cell or stored for later use. Indigestible bulk continues through the intestines, turning a dark brown from the bile. Water is absorbed from this mass in the large intestine depending on the needs of the body - a well-hydrated person will usually have a softer stool than a dehydrated person will. Water also enters the bloodstream, and this is what helps to maintain blood pressure. The pressure tends to balance itself in a healthy person because the bloodstream goes through a formation in the kidney called the Loop of Henle, where the narrowing blood vessel forces excess water and cellular waste such as urea out through the cellular wall into the kidneys, where it is excreted through the ureters into the bladder, and then out of the body via the urethral passageway.

3. IMPORTANT - A person physically unable to process his own food for nutrition therefore also could not process blood - it's the same process. Ingested blood does not tran**it directly to the veins anyway - it would be chemically broken down by the digestive system.

4. Theoretical ingestion of blood to supply these nutrients would therefore have to occur at least once a day, and would require the ingestion of the entire blood supply which could not happen as the stomach is far too **all to hold that much liquid volume. Hold up your clenched fist - under normal conditi*** your stomach is about that size. Furthermore, such a mass would be difficult to pass thru the intestines as it has no fibrous bulk, would create an intestinal impaction, causing massive vomiting from the large concentration of iron present, and any "real" vampire would have to eventually expel the waste, which would come out as a black, tarry, **elly goo, just as stool does when blood is present from a upper GI bleed.

ANYONE who tells you such things are "real" is either living in a fantasy, lying through their teeth, has mistaken autonomic biofeedback **********/endorphin release for "draining", or are caught up in a delusion bordering on mental illness.

Drinking blood is a behavior of choice, not one of physiological necessity.

I'm a Nurse, real education, real experience.

Lord Bearclaw of Gryphon Woods

好吧。