Sophie针对2013年前普通申请的第2个问题写了以下文章：“讨论个人、地方、国家或国际关注的问题及其对你的重要性。”Sophie使用普通申请向巴德学院、迪金森学院、汉普郡学院、奥伯林学院、史密斯学院、，纽约州立大学日内瓦分校和卫斯理大学。所有这些学校都是选择性的，在她申请时接受了25%到55%的申请者。

注：Sophie在通用应用程序设置当前650字长度限制之前写了这篇文章。

The Allegany County Youth Board I am not entirely sure how I ended up on the Allegany County Youth Board. I know my parents' friend recruited my mom after an older Board member retired, and he told her to ask me if I had any interest in becoming a youth member as there was no one yet to represent our district. I said sure, but wished I hadn't after the first meeting, during which a bunch of people my parents' age and older sat around discussing 'allocations' and 'subsidies.' "Nothing got done," I complained to my mom afterwards. I had thought politics was exciting; I had thought that there would be fiery debate, patriotic vehemence. I was disappointed, and I didn't want to go back. I did go back, however. At first it was my mom's nagging that made me go. The more I went, though, the more I understood what people were saying and the more interesting it all was. I began to get a sense of how things worked on a board. I learned when to talk and when not to, and even occasionally added some input of my own. Soon it was I who nagged my mom to attend. It was in one of our recent meetings that I got a taste of the heated discussions of my initial preconception. A Christian-based organization was requesting a grant to build a skate park and the head of the project was due to present her proposal. Although the Youth Board is a government entity and funded by taxpayer money, it is not unusual for funds to be allotted to religious groups, as long as it is clear that the grant will be used for non-religious purposes. For instance, the organization Youth for Christ receives public money each year for their recreation programs aimed at getting kids off the streets and providing alternatives to delinquent behavior. These projects, including a skate park like the one in question, are separate from the group's religious objectives and programs. The woman who presented to us was in her thirties or forties and was, a board member told us, "a person of few words." From what she did say it was clear that she was poorly educated, that she was steady in her convictions and sincere in her desire to help, and that she was utterly naive about how to get the money she wanted for her program. It was this naivety, perhaps, that gave painful honesty to her words. We questioned her on whether kids of any faith would be allowed to skate there. They would, but they would be encouraged to "find God." Would there be any religious lessons taught? The lessons were separate; they didn't have to stay for them. They would be at the same place and at the same time, though. Would there be religious pamphlets or posters? Yes. What if a child didn't want to convert? Would they be made to? No, that would be left up to God. After she left a heated debate ensued. On one side were my parents' friend, my mom, and me; on the other side were everyone else. It seemed clear that this proposition overstepped the line--the director had stated explicitly that it was a ministry. If the proposal were carried out, however, the skate park would be a great asset to her town, and the truth is that pretty much all of Allegany County is Protestant anyway. In all likelihood the skate park/ministry would only benefit the community, and in a town of under 2000 people with nearly 15% of them below the poverty line, they need all they can get. I am no Machiavelli. The ends do not always justify the means. What we seemed to be looking at was the question of whether to endorse a program that promoted a religion. On principle I could not agree with this. Even if in this case the result could be positive, it violated the guarantee of separation of church and state. I believe that any infringement of this, no matter how trivial, undermines the government’s claim to neutrality. Furthermore, we needed to be aware not only of the situation at hand but also of the precedent set for future situations. But then the decision that seemed so clear to me became hazier. There was more than a month between the presentation and the vote on whether to fund the project. I kept thinking of my experience of the previous summer, working as a counselor at Camp New Horizons. The camp serves kids in Cattaraugus County who have emotional or behavioral problems, often due to poverty, and it is funded by the state. One of the first things I noticed when I got there was the prayer before each meal. This seemed inappropriate to me, since it is a publicly funded camp. I asked returning counselors if the kids were required to say the grace. They gave me confused looks. I explained that I, for instance, am an atheist and would feel uncomfortable saying grace. They wanted to know why it mattered to me if I didn't believe in God. "I don't lack belief in God," I tried to tell them. "I believe in a lack of God." "Wait until the kids get here," they said. "It'll make sense." After three weeks with those kids, it sure did make sense. Each camper had a story, a strung-out newspaper clipping of tragedy. The only routines they had created for themselves were tantrums, violence, and running away. One girl, for example, would throw a fit between four thirty and five o' clock every day without fail. She would get angry about some minor frustration, sulk for a while, then work herself into such a frenzy that she would have to be restrained. She needed stability in her life, and these outbursts provided routine. Saying grace before meals became part of the pattern of life at camp, and the campers loved it just for that. They had to make it from one day to the next, and it wasn't going to be separation of church and state that saved their lives. What of it if there was a picture of Jesus painted on the wall of their skate park? They needed routine, focus, and gentle transitions. The simple prayer gave them these. It wasn't out to convert kids or go against their upbringing. By the end of camp, I was the only one converted - converted to the notion of practicality over principle. And yet, when it came time for the vote, I voted against the proposal. In a way it was a cop out, since I knew that the skate park would win even with my vote against it, which it did, by a narrow margin. I wanted the skate park to be built, but I was concerned about the precedent of funding religious projects. Thankfully, I was able to vote on principle without sacrificing the community benefit. I am still not sure what I believe is right in this case, but at this point in my life I like being unsure. Uncertainty leaves room for growth, change, and learning. I like that.

苏菲散文批评

在进入论文的细节之前，要考虑索菲应用的学校：巴德学院、Dickinson College、汉普郡学院、奥伯林学院、史密斯学院、Suny GuneSeo和卫斯理大学。其中每一所学校，包括一所州立学校，都是一所相对较小的学院，以本科生为重点，开设文科和理科核心课程。所有这些学校在招生决策中都采用了整体的方法；也就是说，每所学校都在仔细考虑整个申请人，而不仅仅是申请人的成绩和考试成绩。这些学校寻找的不仅仅是聪明的学生。他们还需要优秀的校园公民，他们将培养一个开放和质疑的知识社区。因此，这篇文章是索菲申请书中非常重要的一部分。

现在让我们进入苏菲文章的实质。

话题

不要被苏菲对当地和农村问题的关注所误导。这篇文章的核心是一个大问题的讨论：政教分离，个人信仰与社会利益之间的冲突，以及界定所有政治的灰色地带。

索菲在选择这个话题时冒了一些风险。她宣称的无神论可能会疏远一些读者。从她的开场白（“我不完全确定”）来看，她把自己描述成一个不知道所有答案的人。事实上，苏菲并不是这个故事的主人公。她甚至不相信自己做出了正确的决定，她的投票也没有影响局势的结果。

语气

这些风险使这篇文章有效。让自己站在文科学院招生官的立场上。你希望什么样的学生成为你校园社区的一部分？一个拥有所有答案的人，他什么都知道，从不做错误的决定，而且似乎没有什么可学的？

显然不是。苏菲表现为一个不断学习、反思信念、拥抱不确定性的人。值得注意的是，苏菲确实有很强的信念，但她思想开放，敢于挑战这些信念。这篇文章展示了苏菲是一位敬业、深思熟虑、善于提问的社区成员。她接受挑战，坚持自己的信念，但她以令人愉悦的开放和谦逊态度这样做。简言之，她展示了与一所小型文科学院非常匹配的品质。

文字

我确实认为开幕式需要更多的工作。第二句有点长，有点笨拙，开头的那一段需要真正吸引读者。

也就是说，这篇文章本身大部分都是优秀的。这篇文章基本上没有语法或印刷错误。这篇散文清晰流畅。索菲在简短有力的句子（“我不是马基雅维利”）和更长更复杂的句子之间转换得很好。这篇文章尽管篇幅很长，却吸引了读者的注意力。

最后的想法

苏菲的文章很有说服力，因为重点是地方性的。许多大学申请者担心他们无话可说，没有什么重大的事情发生在他们身上。苏菲告诉我们，一个人不必攀登珠穆朗玛峰，经历过巨大的个人悲剧，也不必找到治愈癌症的方法来写一篇有效的文章。

苏菲努力解决棘手的问题，并表现出渴望学习的态度。她还表现出很强的写作能力。她成功地展示了自己在一所竞争激烈的文科学院中的出色表现。

苏菲大学申请结果

索菲申请了七所大学。所有这些学校都很有竞争力，但苏菲良好的高中成绩和优异的SAT成绩使她在每一个学校都很有竞争力。她还参加了音乐、舞蹈和（正如她的文章所显示的）社区服务方面的课外活动。她的班级排名也不例外，所以这篇文章是她可以弥补这一不足的地方。

下表显示了Sophie被接受、拒绝和等待的位置。她拒绝被列入候补名单，并接受了史密斯学院（Smith College）的录取通知书。她在休学一年后就读于史密斯学院。

索菲的申请结果
学院	录取决定
巴德学院	认可的
迪金森学院	候补名单
罕布什尔学院	认可的
欧柏林学院	候补名单
史密斯学院	认可的
西奥分校	认可的
卫斯理大学	拒绝