无论你对奥巴马总统和他的任期有何感想，我相信，作为一个国家，我们都可以同意，他给了我们一件纯粹的、毫无疑问的伟大的东西：约瑟夫R。拜登。

这段对话被昨天的《白宫泳池报道》分享，并被《洛杉矶时报》抄录，记录了美国副总统向梵蒂冈国务卿承认，他在一次赌博中输了一个汉密尔顿。拜登声称，在一场拉力赛中，凯迪拉克CTS-V将击败特斯拉的S型车。拜登当然错了。

BIDEN: What an honor to see you again.

(SHAKE)

BIDEN: I don't know whether you know, your photograph is hanging in my office.

PAROLIN: Oh yeah?

BIDEN; Yes, from our meeting.

PAROLIN: You have already met with the Holy Father.

BIDEN: I have met with the Holy Father. And I've met with these guys, too.

(GESTURES TO POOL THEN GRIPS YOUR POOLER)

BIDEN: I had to pay this man $10. He's from the New York Times. We had a bet: which is the faster car, the newer Cadillac or the new Musk car. Which?

POOLER: Tesla.

BIDEN: The Tesla. I bet the Cadillac.

POOLER: He went for the old technology. I went for the new.

PAROLIN: Oh yes?

BIDEN: The Tesla's two tenths of a second faster. But I lost. I paid my $10. (LOUDER TO ENTIRE POOL, ROOM AND PERHAPS CITY) I want the record to show, I paid my $10.

MEMOLI (CATHOLIC REPRESENTATIVE IN POOL): Does that count as a confession, sir?

BIDEN: I'm seeking absolution!

这次输掉的赌注是副总统拜登应该退出政坛，接受他生来就是要扮演这个国家事实上的酒鬼叔叔的角色的最新证据。

更多的证据表明乔·拜登是这个国家的酒鬼叔叔：

拜登在311音乐会上像个少年一样扔下了***。

拜登和骑自行车的人调情，就像暑假里的圣诞老人。

乔·拜登吃冰淇淋就像在破案一样。

乔·拜登好几天都在开玩笑。

乔·拜登（Joe Biden）在《洋葱》（the Onion）杂志上发表了最精彩的文章：

乔·拜登为叔叔2016！

别让你的特斯拉自己开车